Co-Sleeping vs Bed Sharing | Safely Sleep With Baby

Sleeping next to your baby seems like it is natural and innocent enough.

After all, what is better than sleeping close next to your little one all night? Moms have been doing it for thousands of years.

However, co-sleeping and bed-sharing have become a heated debate in modern times, and with many opinions on the positive and negative side, it’s difficult to figure out the best choice for you and your baby.

The main bedroom may seem like a great choice to moms and dads for many reasons, however it does comes with risks, one of the biggest risks is that it can increase your baby’s chances of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome).

First of all, they are not the same thing, though they are often used interchangeably.

Bed-sharing means sharing the same sleeping space and surface, such as a marital bed, with your baby.

Co-sleeping means sleeping closely to your baby, sometimes on the same surface or bed and sometimes not (bed-sharing is one way to co-sleep, but it is not the only way).

“Co-sleeping” is also often confused with “room-sharing,” which is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) until baby is at least 6-months old – 1 year.

Some experts recommend avoiding using the phrase co-sleeping and instead using bed-sharing and room-sharing, which have specific meanings.

The simple answer is, no.

Every parent knows that sleeping with your baby is a natural urge.

Your baby is having trouble sleeping and you are so exhausted that bringing the little one into your bed seems like the only way you will get a wink of sleep.

However, sharing a bed can be dangerous to your baby.

When your baby sleeps on anything other than a recommended mattress with a tight fit sheet and nothing else, it increases their risk of SIDS and can interrupt safe sleep, especially during the first 6-months.

Also, for exhausted, sleeping parents, the risks of rolling over onto your baby is real, as are the chances that your baby could tip off your bed. The risk of SIDS also increases if you smoke or drink alcohol prior to taking your little one to your bed.

To put it bluntly, sleeping with your baby on the same surface/bed is never safe.

Each year around 3,500 babies die in the U.S due to sleep-related causes, as per the records of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

But still, more than 50% of mothers report bed-sharing, and 2 in 5 (38.5%) report using soft bedding in their babies’ sleeping areas.

Some bed-sharing scenarios are more dangerous than others. If you still choose to sleep in the same bed as your baby despite the warnings, make it as safe as possible:

You can make co-sleeping as safe as possible by

Remove all large blankets from your bed, and make sure you have a firm mattress. No feather beds or plush pillows.
Ensure your headboard gap is close enough that your child’s head/body cannot slip between.
Never leave your baby in a position where they could tip off the bed.
No gaps between the mattress and the frame.
Never drink alcohol, smoke or take medication that could impacts your natural sleep or awareness.
Ensure you’re not sleep-deprived should you decide to co-sleep.
Speak to your pediatrician about your sleeping arrangements.

Bed-sharing means sleeping on the same surface (same bed as baby), while room-sharing means sharing a room with your baby but not a sleep surface (same room, not same bed).

Bed-sharing is not considered safe by the AAP, room-sharing is, and can decrease your baby’s risk of SIDS by up to 50%.

To lower the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), you should be sleeping in the same room as your little one for at least the first 6-months months, ideally a year if you can handle it, the AAP says.

It may seem like a big effort to share a room with your baby for 6-months or more, however the benefits are great.

Outside of the fact that it makes your babies sleep safer, it also makes for simpler and more convenient breastfeeding during the night and can stop a lot of the anxiety you could feel about having your baby in another room.

Bed-sharing supporters say the following are the upsides:

Makes for more convenient nighttime nursing.
Gives parents more time with baby.
Helps baby get back to sleep quicker after feedings and sleep for longer periods.
Helps put Mom’s sleeping in sync with babies.
Is a strong component of attachment parenting, which promotes physical and emotional closeness with baby.

Bed-sharing critics out a number of downsides such as:

Increases the risk factors of SIDS substantially, and parents can benefit much more from room-sharing, which is considered safe.
Less sleep for parents, especially if they’re worried about rolling over onto baby.
Means less sleep for baby. Even though some supporters say bed-sharing babies sleep better, you may wake up to every noise when you’re next one another all night. When babies move through their sleep cycles, they can cry without being awake, and you could be the one waking them up.
It’s best for baby to learn how to self-soothe.
Babies who bed-share may have more trouble moving to a crib later.
Less intimacy for the parents!

When a newborn baby your baby will need to feed often through the night.

For the first 3-4 months, your baby is likely to continually wake up during the night in need of nursing.

However, once your baby reaches 6-months, it may be waking out of habit, not because it needs to.

This cycle is not a healthy long-term plan for either parent of child, and at some point your aby will have to learn how to sleep on her own. The AAP’s recommendation that babies stay in the same room with their parents for 6-months to 1 year may further lessen your hopes of ever getting any sleep….

That’s where sleep training comes into play.

Sleep training is training your baby to fall back to sleep when awoken up at night.

The ultimate aim is for you and your baby to get more sleep, even if at first you have to deal with some tears.

Your baby should be 6-months or older before beginning sleep training, as by that age your baby no longer needs nighttime nursing and understands that crying leads to being held.

Remember, sleep training is a personal decision that may or may not be right for you. If you’re not comfortable sleep training your baby, that’s fine.

Sleep training with your baby in the same room can be tough, but it can be done.

Here’s how to sleep train your baby:

Shift your babies cot away from the bed so you cannot see each other.
Stay with a system: Choose a sleep training method and attempt to stick to it.
Add white noise to the room using a fan or a white noise machine.
If your baby’s crying is making you upset, leave the room when you’re putting your baby down for the night.

While cuddling all night with your baby seems like the best thing, the risks of bed-sharing outweigh the benefits.

Get your cuddle fix at other times, and talk to your pediatrician about a sleeping arrangement that’s safe.

Though the issue of co-sleeping can be confusing, the key is to find the best, healthiest option for your baby so that you can all get a better, safer night’s rest to challenge the next day.